A couple of weeks ago, I sent a desperate email to my church’s google group for moms (shoutout, y’all!). It was about how Eleanor wasn’t growing at the rate the pediatrician thought she should be growing, how she stopped being interested in nursing all of a sudden, and how she had a breakout of something super dry and eczema-y on her legs and arms. I was a hot mess, she was a hot mess, and I had lost some confidence in my mothering skills. Mom group pulled through and sent me a heaping dose of Jesus and practical tips. They were a lifesaver on one of those nights when I just felt like a big fat failure.
Since then I have switched pediatricians, her skin has totally cleared up, and she suddenly wants to nurse all the time. But the thing that sticks with me is the way everyone surrounded me. The village showed up.
One friend shared with me all of her knowledge as a pediatrician.
One friend told the stories of her own babies going through the same things.
One friend straight up said I needed a dose of healthy repentance.
I learned that baby phases come and go. Mama worry comes and goes. Self reliance is always going to fail me. Jesus is always not going to fail me. My baby is growing by leaps and bounds. I am growing by leaps and bounds.
And also I learned to just take the time to enjoy her.
Y’all, that changed my life. Just take the time to enjoy her. I cried all my “don’t know how to do this” tears, picked up my fussy baby, and just held her. I sang to her. I told her promises written for her in the Bible. I told her that I would try my best to be there for her when she feels sad and listen to what she has to say. I started getting down on the floor with her to play more. I lay beside her to giggle when she giggles. If she is being especially clingy, I put her in the baby carrier and let her watch me wash dishes and fold laundry.
We’re doing life more together. Less me trying to get her to grow up too fast. Less me wishing she would grow out of hard baby phases. Less me complaining when she is fussy for me to hold her all day.
More me repenting. More me speaking life. More me stopping to love on her. More me taking the time to enjoy her.
And I absolutely love it! I want to live in freedom, not stress and worry. Jesus is teaching me how to be a mama to my baby, and it is refining me. Things are changing over here for the good.
Let the baby be a baby.
Because she is growing perfectly and way too fast.