It’s hit the 60’s here in deep east, and my soul sings hallelujah.
There are 24 days until my 25th birthday, and I can tell it’s going to be my best year yet. I hope so. Sometimes life is heavy, and it feels hard. I’ve certainly had too many years of those kind. Too many days feeling ugly, cheap, boring, worthless, and downright choosing to ignore the truth that I have that comes from knowing Jesus.
As fall rolls around again, I’m more ready than ever to get out of the blankness. I don’t want anymore heavy hard things. No more cheap relationships because I’m too scared to reach out to people. No more believing I’m worthless when I have the KING of the universe call me his own. I’m ready for a real refresh.
I started a detox yesterday of essential oils. It should rid me of all kinds of toxins on the inside, and I’m excited about that. But more importantly, I’m detoxing on the whole. No more reading blogs/facebook statuses that make me feel like I can’t measure up. No more doing things out of habit because I’m too lazy to change. I want real friendships with real people. I want to do creative things, make a healthy home, get out and run in the sweet morning air, and spend time on my face before the Lord because those things are good for me. I’m ready for this.
My closest friends live far away. 12 hours South, 26 hours Southwest, 45 minutes Northwest, hundreds of miles across the ocean. But they’re my closest and best, and I can invest in a phone call, or a skype date, or a drive on a day when I have a few spare hours. I can send sweet things in the mail, remember birthdays, really love them. I’m ready for this.
Right? Aren’t we better than laziness? Don’t we have a real God who loves us so much, who should literally spill out of the overflow of our hearts? Shouldn’t my life be more than gunk and junk and the occasional text message? Isn’t it good to take a season to really start over, clean up, get down and dirty with the good stuff?
I’m detoxing. Maybe it’ll get ugly before it gets better. Maybe I’ll hide under the sheets and not come out for a few days. Maybe I’ll ignore a phone call because I’m too scared to tell the person at the other end how much I actually need them. Maybe I’ll cry a lot or get an upset stomach or something. But it’s fall, y’all. And it’s the best time of year. And I’m ready to live better, free-er. I’m ready for the wholesome and the good and the cool air. I’ve got my candle lit, my Bible open, my journal out. I’ve got my hot tea made, and I’m ready.
Bring on the good stuff.